How many kids forget their homework




















For the vast majority of students, that's no longer the case. Most schoolwork these days necessitates a computer and an internet connection, and that includes work to be done at home. One federal survey found that 70 percent of American teachers assign homework that needs to be done online; 90 percent of high schoolers say they have to do internet-based homework at least a few times a month.

Nearly half of all students say they get such assignments daily or almost daily. Yet despite the seemingly ever-growing embrace of digital learning in schools, access to the necessary devices remains unequal, with a new report from the Pew Research Center finding that 15 percent of U.

Black teens are especially burdened by the homework gap: One in four of them at least sometimes struggle to complete assignments because of a lack of technology at home. And close to half of teenagers in the bottom income bracket have to do their homework on a cellphone occasionally or often. One of the shortcuts we take as parents is to bribe our kids rather than rewarding them for performance. It can be a subtle difference.

A reward is something that is given after an achievement. A bribe is something you give your child after negotiating with them over something that is already a responsibility. If you bribe your child to do their homework or to do anything else that is an expected responsibility, then your child will come to expect something extra just for behaving appropriately.

Bribes undermine your parental authority as kids learn that they can get things from you by threatening bad behavior. Bribes put your child in charge of you. The appropriate parental response to not meeting a responsibility is a consequence, not a bribe.

What makes an effective consequence? An effective consequence motivates your child to good behavior. They put you back in control and teach your child how to problem-solve, giving your child the skills needed to be successful.

And the next day, your child gets to try again to earn the privilege of electronics. Short-term consequences like this are very effective. For more on consequences, read the article on how to give effective consequences to your child. Failure should be an option, and sometimes you just have to let your child fail. Parents often do their kids a disservice when they shield them from the consequences of their actions. And they should experience the discomfort that results from their behavior.

Let me be clear. Your child will learn that if they screw up enough, Mom and Dad will take care of them.

Keep discussions simple. Say to your child:. The sooner you get it done, the sooner you can have free time. Say this in a supportive way with a smile on your face.

If your child refuses to do his or her work, then calmly give the consequence that you established for not doing homework. Also, trying to convince your child that grades are important is a losing battle. To get your child to do homework, focus on their behavior, not their motivation. Rather than giving a lecture, just maintain the system that enables them to get their work done. Often, the motivation comes after the child has had a taste of success, and this system sets them up for that success.

For couples, it may be that one of you is more patient and acceptable to your child. Let that person take on the homework monitoring responsibilities. Find someone else or talk to the teacher about how your child can get the help they need. And try not to blame your child for the frustration that you feel. Remember that your child is doing the homework as a school assignment.

The teacher will ultimately be the judge of how good or bad, correct or incorrect the work is. Meet with the teachers at the beginning of the school year and stay in touch as the year progresses. And if your child does have problems, then communicate with their teachers weekly. Many schools have assignments available online, which is a big help for parents. Find out for yourself. The bottom line is that you want to hold your child accountable for doing their work, and you can only do that if you know what the work is.

Work with your child on a system to keep track of assignments. I recommend an old-fashioned paper calendar simply because we already have too many distracting electronics in our lives—experiment and use what works best for your child. Kids are expected to do some difficult work, and your child may struggle. If your child is having an especially hard time, talk with their teacher.

In some cases, the teacher may recommend testing to see if your child has a learning disability. If it turns out that your child does have a learning disability, then you want to get an Individualized Educational Plan IEP set up with the school.

Our children all have different strengths and abilities, and while some may never be excellent students, they might be great workers, talented artists, or thoughtful builders.

It was overwhelming at times. Our son struggled with a learning disability, which made the work feel unending at times. My husband James was much better at helping him, so he took on this responsibility.

But even with this division of labor, we had to make adjustments to our schedules, our lives, and our expectations to make sure our son did his homework as expected. Life would be easier if all children were self-motivated students who came home, sat down, and dug into their homework without being asked. This is hardly the case, though.

When I had parents in my office, I would take these concepts and show them how they could make it work for their families in their own homes.

The families I worked with were able to turn the nightly homework struggle around successfully time and time again. Janet Lehman, MSW, has worked with troubled children and teens for over 30 years. A veteran social worker, she specializes in child behavior issues — ranging from anger management and oppositional defiance to more serious criminal behavior in teens.

You must log in to leave a comment. Don't have an account? Create one for free! I found school to be extremely boring, as a teen. Looking back I realize that I hadn't found the work challenging enough. Personally, I struggled with this all through high school. I was completely disinterested in school, as a result. I noticed that there wasn't a section addressing situations where children, who are motivated by challenges, do poorly as a result of boredom.

I enjoy reading many of the articles; even those which don't necessarily apply to my current situations with my child. One never knows what obstacles or challenges one may come across.

Thank you. Here's what I know. Correcting our children when their behavior is displeasing is what most parents focus on. Without a lot of explanation I'm going to try to get you to change your focus. All children have 4 emotional needs:. Rather than focus on your child's behavior, focus on meeting these needs.

Meet the needs, change the behavior. There a 25 ways to meet these needs. One of the most effective is to spend regular one-on-one time with your child doing what your child wants to do. How do you spell love? It seems counter-intuitive, but just try it for a week. See what happens. Frustrated Confused Parent, I went through similar challenges with my son when he was in high school. As a grade school student his grades were always B and higher. The changes began when his mother and I separated; my son was 12yo.

Prior to our separation I was the one who maintained, and enforced the habit of completing his assignments before extracurricular activities could be enjoyed. His mother never felt she had the patience or intelligence to assist him with his homework assignments and upon our separation she completely ignored his school work. Although he continued to follow the structure I had established through grade school, he soon began to realize that no one was showing interest any longer and, thus, began shirking school related responsibilities.

My son and I were, and still are, close. I am certain that the separation likely had some affect on him, but it was more than that. He was reaching his teens and becoming more self-aware.

Friends began to play a more integral and influential part in his life. Unfortunately my son's grades began slipping as he reached his early teens. For me, this was extremely frustrating since I was aware of how intelligent he was and of what he was capable. After many aggravating, lengthy, heated, and unyielding conversations with his mother about maintaining the structure established through grade school, it became clear she was incapable or simply unwilling.

Essentially, he was on his own. Of course I would do whatever I could to help. For starters, I facilitated a transfer to a Charter School, realizing that he needed more individualized attention than that which a public school could provide.

It seemed as though he was getting 'lost in the shuffle'. Unfortunately the damage had already been done. After two years under his mother's lack of tutelage my son had developed some poor habits. He struggled with maintaining good grades throughout his high school career. By 'maintaining good grades' I mean that he would take a grading of 45 in math and bring it to a 70 within three weeks of the end of a marking period.

He would somehow get his grades to or even above passing by the end of the period. As I began to see this, I began to have more faith knowing that when the going got tough he would step up and take charge. It also indicated that he did well with what might perceive as an impossible goal. So, I started to have faith that he'd find his way. He has since graduated, he has a good-paying job, and he is beginning school to become an electrician within the next month or so.

In two weeks he moves into his own apartment, also. He's never done drugs, never drank alcohol, and never started smoking cigarettes. All of which I have done as a teen and well into my adult years. I am in recovery. My son is aware of my own struggles. Most importantly, I believe, is that he has a complete understanding that we all struggle in our own ways.

Repeatedly accessing a stored but fading memory—like a rule of geometry or a crucial historical fact—rekindles the neural network that contains the memory and encodes it more deeply.

Researchers have also learned that not all new memories are created equal. For example, here are two sets of letters to remember:. For readers of English, the second set of letters is more memorable—the more connections neurons have to other neurons, the stronger the memory. The word oranges also invokes sensory memory, from the image of an orange to its smell, and perhaps even conjures other memories of oranges in your kitchen or growing on a tree.

You remember by layering new memories on the crumbling foundations of older ones. When students learn a new piece of information, they make new synaptic connections. Which explains why the following learning strategies, all tied to research conducted within the past five years, are so effective:.

The Forgetting Curve We often think of memories as books in a library, filed away and accessed when needed. The Persistence of Memory The same neural circuitry appears to be involved in forgetting and remembering. This strategy not only increases retention but also encourages active learning Sekeres et al.



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